Dazzle
by Mattysones
Summary: A 2p-Snake-Cardverse-HetaPotter AU set in Hogwarts. Things don't make much sense for the the students either. Hopefully everyone will make it through seven years without killing each other. Dazzling.
1. This Year Is Bound to be Interesting

**Chapter One**: _The upperclassmen had been taking bets to see how long it took the Kirklands to fight_

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"Slytherin!" The Sorting Hat called.

Oliver Kirkland beamed at his twin brother, Arthur, who tried to sink into the crowd of first years. Oliver would have trotted over to the table had he been capable, rather he_ slithered happily _at the miserable expression on his brother's face.

Since the decree that magical creatures also had to be admitted into Hogwarts, people with not-entirely-humanoid-limbs were not uncommon. What was uncommon was to see two pure-blood, British (As opposed to Indian, who had their own magical school), Naga wiggling their way into admissions. The older, Arthur, had done his best to find robes long enough to hide most of his most noticeable forest green 'appendage', but Oliver proudly displayed the oddly-colored deep purple and maroon scales that made his tail.

Arthur resisted the reflex to curl around himself and hide from the snickers around him. The snakes had been put into Slytherin. Of course.

"I do hope you two don't intend to commune in your weird, hissy language."

Arthur heard a distinctly French voice above him. He glanced up to see the boys' Prefect, Francis Bonnefoy not-so-subtly hiding his amusement.

"Don't forget snakes eat frogs," Arthur snarled, and tried to stand a little taller.

"You sure have a _tongue_ on you don't you?" Bonnefoy snickered. Arthur did indeed, literally had a snake's tongue and would have bitched but Oliver interrupted Arthur with a gleeful hug.

The room hushed as another first year stepped forward, reluctantly releasing his sibling's hand from the crowd as he approached the Sorting Hat.

"Another set of twins," Bonnefoy commented, "Must have been a frisky year."

Oliver untangled himself from Arthur long enough to take a look, "He lookssss fun," He said with a gleam. A few nearby students edged away uncomfortably.

Arthur tried to wrestle himself away from his brother, "I don't see what's so special about Alfred Fucking Jones."

Oliver grabbed Arthur's face and pressed a huge kiss to his cheek, "Oh brother dearest, you are so dumb."

Arthur made a good attempt to relieve Oliver of an eye, "What's so special about Spades?"

"GRYFFINDOR."

The boy released a whoop and barreled to the Gryffindor table.

Bonnefoy sniffed, "I, myself am from Diamonds. Those from Cards are all from a strange part of the magical world."

"KIRKLANDS. UNTANGLE YOURSELVES NOW AND STOP FIGHTING." Suddenly Slytherin's Head of house appeared and had to break apart the cat-fight. Or snake-fight as it was.

Meanwhile, at the Griffindor table the upperclassmen slapped the backs of twins Alfred Jones and Matthew Williams in congratulations.

"Like, what took so long, Jones?" Third-year Felix asked excitedly. Jones' turn had taken a few minutes.

Alfred smiled nervously, "It wanted to put me into Slytherin, but I knew Mattie would be in Griffindor and I didn't wanna."

Matthew was shying away from the attention but couldn't fight off Gilbert Beilschmidt's questions, "Why are you here from Spades!" Gilbert asked insistently.

Matthew shrunk, "I. Um. We're…"

"Gil you don't just ask someone that!" Felix whined.

Toris Laurinaitis tried to gently herd Matthew away, "Stop it Gilbert, you're scaring him."

Alfred was talking energetically to another group, "So Mom and Dad could have sent us to Salem but people from Cards have awesomely weird magic and the American schools aren't really very good and they're kind of still narrow-minded and-"

"Alfred," Matthew tried to scold in his quiet voice, "Mom and Dad said not to talk about that-"

The entire Great Hall's attention was taken to the Slytherin table when a huge crash sounded. Hissing and swearing came from the writhing brawl that consisted of five Kirkland brothers, and a circle of students all terrified of getting hit by fangs or an eight-foot body.

All of the Heads ran over to the mess with their wands at ready.

The boys' Gryffindor Prefect, Vash Zwingli tapped his fingers impatiently, "I would say the Kirklands reproduce like rats but…"

None of the other houses really understood why Gryffindor wouldn't stop making rat puns for the next three weeks.


	2. One Set of Twins Are Mysterious

AN: Reviews make me happy ;A; Even bad ones!

**Chapter Two:** Even people from Cards are oddities

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Alfred and Matthew were caught in the bustle of Griffindor first years being shuffled from the Great Hall into their respective dormitories. The common room was filled with chatter,though Alfred was struck into awed silence as he tried to take in the portraits ogling, the house ghost chatting with the new students, weird things floating around and everything that required a sensory experience to comprehend.

Which was of course, everything. Alfred was in the middle of a sensory overload.

"Jones! Williams! C'mon you'll be in the same dorm."

Without thinking Alfred rudely gaped at the only Kirkland who hadn't been sent to the Headmaster's office.

Sixth year, Wynne Kirkland, rolled his eyes and urged the twins along with his brown body, "Yes, we'll take some getting used to. Come on. Your things are in your room. Get."

Matthew shuffled close to Alfred as they joined the other three who would be rooming with, and the upperclassman who was leading them, "Al, it's not polite to stare."

Alfred blinked wide-eyed at his brother, "But they're so _weird_. Their noses are all squished, they look like giant, snakey…" Alfred gestured wildly, "People things."

"They're a lot more normal than you," Said one of their new roommates, "At least they're from the right_ world._"

Matthew shrunk away but Alfred puffed up, "We're not the only ones."

Another spoke up, "Yeah, but they're all from Diamonds. Spades isn't even on the right continent."

"I don't want to talk about this." Matthew squeaked, hugging himself.

"Guys, stop." The upperclassmen suddenly said loudly, glancing over his shoulder, "If you want to talk to someone who_ knows_," He glared at the other three first years who all scoffed, "Francis Bonnefoy from Slytherin usually won't shut up about himself."

The aforementioned Slytherin Prefect was bragging in his respective common room once the first years had settled. He always enjoyed their awe even if the girls' prefect looked as though she would fall asleep, "Everything is sort of…" Francis gestured vaguely, "Upside down. Everything is the wrong color. Water doesn't get you wet."

A murmur rippled among the first years. Francis nodded sagely, "I can't speak for anywhere else but Diamonds of course. Cards is nothing like the non-magical world or this world at all."

"Why would you leave it?" One of the first years asked.

Bonnefoy laughed, "I'm afraid I can't say. National secret."

At that moment the Slytherin's dungeon door opened and revealed two Kirklands being led by Sadiqu Annan, the house Head. He was in a foul mood, if the scratch across his face was any indication, "Bonnefoy!" Annan barked, "Go to the Griffindor Tower and talk to the Williams and Jones boys. Rome is expecting you." He scowled at the boys behind him who were both sulking spectacularly, "Be supportive or something."

Francis stood with flourish and flitted on out of the common room, overhearing the green-tailed Kirkland shivering and muttering to himself 'of course Slytherin is in a bloody dungeon'.

Outside of the dungeon Francis Apparated to outside the Griffindor common room. The witch in the portrait yelped when she heard Francis appear.

"Goodness boy!" She cried, "You'll give me a heart attack if you do that again!"

Francis smiled charmingly, "I do apologize Ma'm. I believe Rome is expecting me."

The witch sniffed haughtily, "I'll be the judge of that-" She was interrupted when her frame was swung aside, "So rude!"

Rome, the Head of Griffindor, smiled tiredly, "They're in the common room. Just give them a pep talk. Don't linger."

Francis nodded and swept inside, seeing the twins huddled around the fireplace whispering to each other. He beamed and gave Rome a wave before swooping in on his unsuspecting first years.

"Francis Bonnefoy at your service," Francis said brightly. One of the boys jumped and squeaked, and the other just looked at him. One blue-eyed, the other with violet.

"Uh, hi." One said, "Alfred Jones."

Francis sat next to them, "Then you must be Matthew." He smiled at the quieter one. Matthew nodded, and Francis looked at the twins, "I am here to tell you that I am to act as your big brother if you ever feel homesick," He gestured to himself, "There are others from Cards, but they are not as approachable as myself. But do not worry. As different as this place is, we've all adjusted quite well…"

Alfred grinned, "Oh, we've lived in this layer for a few years. Just…" He trailed off as he tried to think of his words.

Matthew spoke softly, "Mom and Dad say we'll be isolated because people are scared of us."

Francis didn't know what to say to that, "Ah well." He said slowly, "If it makes you feel better, Wang Yao from Ravenclaw is from Spades. But he is hard to talk to."

Alfred seemed to perk, "Really? So it's not just us?"

Francis shook his head, "No. Ivan Braginski in Hufflepuff is from Clubs, too." Francis hesitated, "But do not talk to him. He is strange even for us."

The twins nodded.

Matthew shuffled in his chair before speaking, "Why are you here, Francis?"

Francs smiled bitterly, "The same reason you are. We are refugees."

Alfred jerked with surprise, "In Diamonds, too?"

Francis nodded, "Of course." He looked at the Griffindor ceiling for a moment before sighing dramatically, "I too miss my home. But being here is for the best."

"That's what our parents say," Matthew spat.

Francis grinned weakly, "Do you have any questions for me?"

The twins shook their heads.

Francis reached into his pocket and pulled out two compacts. He handed them to the twins, and they gave him puzzled expressions, "These are to communicated with me if you ever need a soul to talk to. You can talk to each other too." Francis gave a mischievious smile, "But do not misuse them or the Headmaster will have to confiscate them."

Alfred flipped open the compact. At first there was only a reflection, but as soon as he thought of Matthew he could see his brother in the mirror, "Cool!"

"Indeed," Francis agreed, "Well. It is late. I must return to my dank dungeon for the night." He stood and bowed, "Do not hesitate to find me. As a prefect someone is sure to know where I am."

The twins nodded and watched Francis leave. They both looked at each other for a moment, Alfred gauging Matthew's mood and Matthew looking miserable. Alfred shrugged, "At least it's not just us."

Matthew hugged his knees to chest, "He was nice."

Alfred yawned, "You tell that to Mom and Dad." He stood, "I'm going to bed."

Matthew didn't respond except to stand and follow his brother.


	3. An Exposition Chapter Without Exposition

**Chapter Three:** Sometimes there's those people that get all the attention whether they like it or not. Oliver rather likes it.

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The entirety of Hogwarts knew the year was going to be a long one once Alfred Jones and Arthur Kirkland discovered each other. Really, it had been Jones' fault for goading the other boy when an apology would have done, but Arthur had a reputation for being overly emotional and a tendency to grate on people.

Alfred had stepped on Arthur's tail in the middle of charms class.

"Oi! Watch where you're walking!" Arthur had hissed.

Alfred (Who everyone would learn was terrified of snakes, 'Indiana Jones is scared of snakes!' but only a handful of people knew he was talking about those muggle movies) immediately became defensive, "Watch where you're crawling! Not my fault you take up half the floor!"

Which was exactly the wrong thing to say to someone who was self-conscious of standing out (Not so much of his appearance, but it was appearance that made him stand out and it was a complicated feeling for an 11-year-old).

Alfred ended up with a levitating goblet being thrown at him. Arthur hissed and recoiled when Alfred cast a spell that sent a small mass of fireworks popping and whirling in his face.

Arthur demonstrated his talent for transfiguration when suddenly Alfred was face first on the floor with an uncontrollable lower body of octopus legs.

"See how you like it!" Arthur had wailed, and fled the room with some mild scorch marks.

The entirety of Hogwarts knew something bad was going to happen when Oliver Kirkland and Ivan Braginski befriended each other. Not that they had given anyone a reason to think so besides having the occasional, mutual bouts of strangeness.

Oliver had taken to making Ivan wear him like a backpack, wrapping his body around the hulking Hufflepuff's torso and propping the rest of himself against Ivan's shoulder so they were back-to-back. There was no particular reason other than Oliver liked to watch the looks on peoples' faces.

"Let me make sure I understand," Oliver was saying as he reclined against Ivan while they walked the grounds, "There is the muggle world, the magical world, and then Cards."

"Yes." Ivan confirmed cheerfully. He waved at someone who was gaping.

"They are all different layers of reality." Oliver mused, then he grinned to himself, "Like a parfait."

"This is an odd comparison, but yes. Layers. Will you walk yourself? You are getting heavy."

Oliver slithered away to lower himself to the ground. Ivan continued walking and Oliver moved at the other's pace. Even at most of his height he barely came to Ivan's shoulder. Oliver tapped his fingers together thoughtfully, "Even though the layers are separate, the people born in each reality can exist within each layer. Most of the time."

Ivan nodded and clarified, "Sometimes the realities are too different and the people cannot jump the in between." Ivan glanced at Oliver, "But Cards is similar enough to the magical and muggle worlds that we do not have the problem."

Oliver clapped his hands once, "I would like to see a purple tree," He nearly giggled, then glanced up at his companion, "And," He continued, "People from Cards are all magical, but not all magic people have a Gift."

"This is correct. The Gifted may have magic, but the magical may not have a Gift."

"And what is your Gift?" Oliver asked lightly.

Ivan raised an eyebrow, "It would seem to bend people's will to my own."

Oliver laughed, "Oh! That is delightful! Persuasion." He grinned with a gleam, "What do you do with a Gift like that?"

Ivan smiled brightly, "For now I enjoy the terrified looks on people's faces as they sense instinctively that they would not be able to fight anything I say or do."

Oliver pouted, "You mustn't abuse something like that."

Ivan's smile never changed, "I do not," He said, "In the same way you do not demonstrate that you can squeeze the air out of someone at a whim's notice but can display exactly how strong a snake's body can be."

Oliver's blue eyes may have flickered for a moment, "And who says I do that?"

Ivan laughed unnaturally, "No one did. I only said you can."

Oliver's expression was stiff before he brightened and switched the topic, "So I convinced the house elves to show me how to make these adorable little pastries…"

And such was the nature of their relationship - Odd and slightly threatening at best.


End file.
